Awe Cwap! (As in: Report/weather/day next/crud)

...SIGNIFICANT SNOW AND ICE EXPECTED ON THURSDAY...
.A LOW PRESSURE SYSTEM WILL MOVE NORTHEAST FROM THE TENNESSEE
VALLEY AND INTO THE SOUTHERN MID-ATLANTIC STATES ON THURSDAY.
HEAVY SNOW IS POSSIBLE OVER NORTH CENTRAL PENNSYLVANIA...WITH A
MIXTURE OF SLEET AND SNOW BETWEEN INTERSTATE 80 AND THE TURNPIKE...
TRANSITIONING TO A SLOPPY COMBINATION OF SNOW AND SLEET CHANGING
TO FREEZING RAIN SOUTH OF THE TURNPIKE. TRAVEL WILL BE
SIGNIFICANTLY IMPACTED BEGINNING EARLY THURSDAY MORNING AND
CONTINUING THROUGH THE LATE AFTERNOON.

...WINTER WEATHER ADVISORY IN EFFECT FROM 4 AM TO 10 PM EST
THURSDAY...
...WINTER STORM WATCH NO LONGER IN EFFECT...

THE NATIONAL WEATHER SERVICE IN STATE COLLEGE HAS ISSUED A WINTER
WEATHER ADVISORY...WHICH IS IN EFFECT FROM 4 AM TO 10 PM EST
THURSDAY. THE WINTER STORM WATCH IS NO LONGER IN EFFECT.
A WINTRY MIXTURE OF SNOW AND SLEET WILL OVERSPREAD THE REGION
AROUND OR SHORTLY AFTER SUNRISE THURSDAY...AND INCREASE IN
INTENSITY THROUGH THE LATE MORNING AND AFTERNOON HOURS BEFORE
GRADUALLY TAPERING OFF THURSDAY NIGHT. ROADWAYS WILL BE QUICKLY
IMPACTED...AS AIR AND SURFACE TEMPERATURES QUICKLY FALL INTO THE
UPPER 20S TO LOWER 30S AT THE ONSET OF THE PRECIPITATION AND REMAIN
THERE THROUGHOUT THE DAY.

THE MIXTURE OF SNOW AND SLEET WILL ACCUMULATE UP TO 2 INCHES IN THE
MORNING BEFORE MIXING WITH AND POSSIBLY CHANGE TO FREEZING RAIN
BY AFTERNOON. ALTHOUGH EXCESSIVE ICING IS NOT ANTICIPATED AT THIS
TIME...GREATER THAN ONE TENTH OF AN INCH OF ICE ACCRETION IS
POSSIBLE BY THURSDAY AFTERNOON...MAINLY SOUTH OF THE TURNPIKE.
PRECIPITATION WILL QUICKLY WIND DOWN AFTER 3PM THURSDAY AFTERNOON.

Translate: (Plan A) Probably sleep late, cook a big family breakfast, then
go hibernate in front of the confuser as long as we have power.
(Plan B) Go in to work late, and leave early after mediating chaos.
(Plan C) The weather guessers get it wrong again because they miscounted the coin tosses, and it's just another day of cold and wet yuck, so I spend the day as usual.