A few hours off...

It's me again, the cruel heartless bastard.

After the session at the hospital, I needed a few hours to myself, so I came home.
I'll go back and run the adult class this evening, as I don't have any relationship with them. My high school students, we get to know each other, and right now it wouldn't be fair for me to be there this afternoon. I wouldn't be all there.

Bloody hell that was hard! Not the part of me saying what I needed to say... that had to be done. What was hard..... was causing the pain there was no way to avoid. NOT saying what I did would only lead to more pain for all concerned.

I made it as clear as I could, and the therapist helped make it clear to her.
It's over.... I am leaving.....

Nothing I haven't said already in the last week or so, it's just that maybe it will sink in with that setting. Oh hell, it's what I've been thinking of for months, if not years.

She'll be coming home in a few days. I need to have my stuff out by then, and best for all if I make that so. I'll take a storage bay this afternoon, and skip some sleep to get things packed and moved. I still have to teach evenings, and still have to be in Philly the next two days, and still have to be in school Saturday morning....
there is no time to do what must be done. Never mind, it must be taken care of.
Something will have to give, and I guess that will be sleep. So be it.

Thanks for letting me vent....

I know this will get better..... in time.... but right now, this part really sucks.


Update:

I arranged for care for her when she gets out, for the first few days, with her family.
I rented a storage area for the next three months.
I arranged a place for me to stay, with friends, till I can get a place of my own.
I came back to work to finish the evening class.

Just..... dealing with it...... Not sure whether to laugh or cry. Mostly just numb.

I should rename this blog "The soap opera I live......"